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Fading Lights
I've spend the sunset of the day driving towards the lighthouse of my town, and watching the coast roll around with the lyrics fading in. Zaire's irrefutable beauty is his expression of kindly aloof longing. Able to provide a physical, visceral understanding of feelings through a case note of symptoms, and his immense audio production talents.
Fading lights does do this, albiet with more blatantly displayed defeatist tonality, generating a character who normally looks back on past struggles with tenacity going through the motions in the present.
the fading light observed as the song played in the car.
When I am deeply emotional, I find myself in a 'diagnostic' state, internally listing actions and thoughts felt. Anxiousness not being just anxiety, but shaking hands, spaced out mind, flush cheeks. When in tears, I ask why I am crying, I tell myself to cry, or I spend those moments playing around with different ways to make tears fall.
Most media on emotions do not display feelings this way, or if they do, they remove the actual emotions from it. Such actions run perpendicular to the feeling, and are not separate. Zaire is at home with both. Looking at every symptom and effect with a head as the heart wrenches in one way or another to an unalphabetic tune. Whats even better is how he can express the resoluteness that this means of experiencing feelings can lead to, that "I feel this way, and life goes on, I am going on". That contentment, in other words.
Unlike visual artists like Fernando Botero, who's artworks provide content feelings through unbothered, unemotional expression mixed with a highly dominating presence, Zaire manages to accomplish a similar, or perhapse rival feeling by doing the inverse.
fading lights is emotional. Not loud, violent emotions, but the gutteral bodily drugs that spread upon self reflection or restless existentialism. These are my favorite feelings. They are painful and fearful in the present, and you want them to end. End because at the time they appear unresolvable in that moment. But because you are here now and know what they were like, you know they will resolve eventually. Every impass shall pass, and guarantees a stronger you will come to pass them.
Examples of Botero's art. Notice the lack of expressed emotions in the subjects. Most art pieces depicts significant and often emotive events, particularly of religious and political significants. All sense of vastness is conveyed through the shere dominating size of the subjects, being their own elephants in a comparatively insignificant room.
Self reflective thoughts lack presence. There is no one in your mind to hear tides crash. Simply you. Alone. Tsunami's of emotion, only one person to experience it. That vastness feels throttled, like a dam flowing through a funnel. all thrashing through a single point, a single person.
The longing for someone far away, the sickness of home, All feelings pushing down constantly when they occur. reminders weaved within the routine of life. All managable because their vastness equates to one person. A single entity and thier capacities. Nothing more, nothing less. Through the fading lights and nights of lost sleep, anxiety over the occupier of your mind, longing their presence, their reciprical sense of you. Its all overwhelming, yes, and it dominates your being, but its just you, because it physically can only be you.
Overall I think Zaire's music is an acknowledgement that what we feel can overwhelm and control us, but can't crush us. They are always manageable, useful experiences that are worthy of feeling but always something that shall pass, as all things do.
/Fading Lights
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